RT @sfhockeydude: …the SF Bulls free shirt you get with season tix looks like it says "Balls Hockey" http://t.co/JV9qFW5l—
shanners (@oshanada) October 04, 2011

This of course immediately sparked new cheers by my new Twitter friends:

The design of the "Balls Hockey" shirt would best be described as "Wannabe Ed Hardy" the Affliction shirt wearing douche crowd will love it.—
ryan (@sfhockeydude) October 04, 2011

@burritojustice @oshanada I see my future-self double-fisting at a game, yelling "LET'S GO, BALLS!"—
ryan (@sfhockeydude) October 04, 2011

(I think we all see where this is headed.)

Anyway, I have created a poll to get a feel for which of these alternate names shall replace the tragedy of the San Francisco Bulls.  Please read Peter’s finely crafted article to understand the nuances of each choice before voting, along with my original post. And of course, gazing upon the glory of the San Francisco Sutros:

Ahhhh. Oh yeah, the poll.  In the spirit of Ranked Choice Voting, you can pick up to three names (though you can’t actually rank them, sorry…) And of course a write-in option.

And a note to Pat Curcio – please take all this as constructive criticism.  We really want hockey to work here.

Oh, Free Marketing Idea:

Have REALLY good food and beer during games at the Cow Palace.  Seriously.  While renaming the team the San Francisco Food Trucks is admittedly a stretch, you should seriously consider doing a weekly Off The Grid food truck extravaganza and get local/regional brewers like Anchor, Speakeasy, Trumer and Almanac to be partners.

• live reports from the Chez Spencer french food truck, with graffiti referenes – “we were definitely excited about being able to buy escargot, frog legs and other French fare without leaving our graffiti-strewn alleyway”
• graffiti commentary and strategy — the graffiti box!
• rightful suspicion of new restaurant/bar activity at Julie’s Supper Club – “The bartender directed [the police] to the owner when asked about a liquor license. The bartender then fled from the club. The owner grabbed cash off the bar area and fled to the bathroom. One officer followed her and saw her stuff cash into her shoe. About $500 from the owner’s sock and about $900 more was seized, along with DJ equipment and turntables.”

Nick also notes the arrival of Heaven’s Dog, new upscale chinese restaurant by Charles Phan of Slanted door fame – “pretty good” (and no dogs). He then shares rumors of Mr. Phan’s potential entry into the food truck market (via the Wall Street Journal –  kind of scary that the WSJ is covering “street food”…)

One fan of Mr. Odermatt’s truck is chef Charles Phan, of San Francisco’s Slated Door fame, who likes the truck’s “really yummy” porchetta sandwich of roasted pork loin rolled into pork belly and sliced onto a French roll. He says the truck’s open design reminds him of street food in his home country, Vietnam. Mr. Phan says he is also in the early phases of planning his own lunch truck business, which would also allow consumers to observe the food.

“Observe the food” – what, like a food zoo?  All I care about is observing the food entering my mouth.

Alas, no. The red circles show a 1500′ radius around public junior high and high schools — the land where food trucks are forbidden. Click to zoom. (Hoping for an interactive map soon — am I missing something, or is it obscenely difficult to draw circles in Google Earth?)

UPDATE: Board of sups food truck ban does not apply to elementary schools.  (That explains the ice cream trucks.)

UPDATED UPDATE: Reader emamd points out that the 1500′ limit is around the school property line, not the entrance, so you’d get a map something like the even wider doughnuts above vs circles around the entrance.

UPDATE++: The old St. James (25th & Florida), now the California School Age Families Education (Cal-SAFE) county high school is in question – that’s the blue circle.

For those late to this party, our Board of Supervisors passed a law banning food trucks from within 1500 feet of a school as part of the SFUSD “Wellness” policy.  However, there is no distinction made between predatory trucks that target children and ‘gourmet’ trucks that cater to consenting adults.

This law is draconian and needs to be changed. 1500′ means no food truck can legally operate in Dolores Park. And for some perspective, pot clubs only have to be 500 to 1000 feet away from a school.

I have little sympathy for the school board nutritionistas’ argument that responsible taco trucks like El Tonayense set children into some sort of downward food spiral — especially when they don’t eat at the truck but instead go to the restaurants next to the school.  The point is not that I have to go an extra two blocks to get a taco from El Tonayense, it’s that food trucks have been banned in half the damn city.  This law, no matter how well intentioned, goes too far.

For the record, I do not condone food trucks gathering around school entrances selling kids chips and soda. I think we can all agree that this is bad. But to dive into hyperbole and paint *all* food trucks with that same brush is intellectually dishonest. Oh great legal minds of the city, how do we get the Sups to pass a more reasonable law?  500 feet and show ID during the school day?  Express your vote over at Mission Loc@l (middle right of the page).

This SF Weekly article asks why we don’t have more food trucks in this of all cities. This law is certainly part of the problem. In New York they practically throw street food at you as you walk by, and in LA there are revolutionary food delivery mechanisms such as a korean taco truck that twitters its location each night. (Take that, line!) Imagine singapore noodle carts, oh, would that not be lovely?

Instead we have guerilla food trucks, or legal trucks cordoned into food ghettos.  (That being said, the future site of Valencia Street Park is in a safe zone. We welcome you, foodie truck entrepreneurs!)

Can anyone confirm if this is still on?  Where is it being held?  I’m coming up with bupkis on sfgov.gov other than a PDF of the appeal paperwork.

UPDATE — El Tonaynese Appeal Delayed Again Until March 11. (Thank you Adam at MenuPages SF)

Tragically I am in LA that day (especially ironic as this issue is pretty much what started this blog — I suck.)  Can ‘civilians’ give testimony?  Kind of a friend of the court (or more specifically ‘friend of the truck’?)  If anyone wants to go and question the fundamental basis of this ruling I will buy you tacos and a jarrito. I’m a little concerned that El Tonayense’s “grandfather defense” will get steamrolled by the “The Student Nutrition and Physical Activity Committee” (aka SNPAC, a wholly owned division of SEIU).

To maintain burrito justice, feel free to raise the following issues.

1) Why go after a truck that most of the students can’t even go to, and those few who could, don’t?  The principal and vice-principal don’t have an issue with it, and you’d think they have the students’ interests in mind.

2) Why is there a regulation banning food trucks near schools in the first place?  Students can buy whatever they want at ‘stationary’ stores on Folsom.  If SNPAC’s intent truly is to preserve the school lunch system, then why can any student leave campus?  And do they inspect the lunches that students bring to school?

3) Why isn’t SNPAC  concerned with the ice cream trucks that flock around schools (especially elementary schools)?  To me this is the most hypocritical aspect of the whole thing. To quote Dana Woldow, “That’s a separate battle someone else will have to fight.” Nice, Dana. You are the epitome of consistency.

As I’ve said several times, let El Tonayense stay if he commits to not selling to minors from 7 am to 5 pm, the time indicated in the regulation.

But let’s face it, his food is healthier than the alternatives on Folsom, and he got a restaurant inspection score of 100 (yes, one HUNDRED). Why punish Santana and the taco lovers?  While a move is not the end of the world, it’s the principle that matters here.

(Note — in order to defeat SNPAC, we should form the “Serious Mission A-burrito Confusion Kommittee — SMACK!  Otherwise we will all end up like this — we cannot haz that. That, or rename them the “Student Physical Activity and Nutritional Kommittee…)

Results of the poll — the majority of discerning sandwich eaters have chosen… the PB&J! A respectable showing by the King Trumpet followed closely by the under-rated Mission Melt.

May they quickly return to a corner near us.

Hints re next week from Plebescite, FoA:

I just had a constructive meeting with Anthony, though, and I’m flamboyantly jazzed for next week. He’ll have all the info available soon, but let it be known that awesome things are in the works. James the Hater be damned, MSF lives on.

Big changes for Mission Street Food. Their headline says it all:
“From Mission–Street Food to Mission Street–Food”

Summary:

• They’re taking next week off
• They will have guest chefs (cool!)
• They will be moving indoors, sharing space with existing restaurants (hmmm…)

I’m not in love with the indoor idea, but I understand. Our little MSF is growing up — the lines couldn’t get much longer

I do like the idea of guest chefs though. I secretly wanted dozens of cooks to line 21st in a sea of silver and fluorescent street-food goodness like some William Gibson functional Singapore dystopia. But I don’t think James the Hater would like that.

Mission Mission raises the question:

“This sounds great, but will the sandwiches be as fun to eat sitting at a table, indoors? Will it still be street food?”

A philosophical debate indeed, like what the sound of one hand clapping? It’s not quite the same, even with the benefits of beer and wine. It all depends on the atmosphere. Best of all would be something that has a big garage door in front so people can come to and fro, and mill about freely.

Maybe they can partner up with Janitzi on Valencia and 23rd — needless to say they could use the traffic, and it’s a nice, big open space. Take out the tables and chairs, and just have a bunch of high tables…

Wherever they go, I want a new sandwich called “James the Hater” with something bitter, like arugula, and with something so insanely hot you start shouting like a crazed son of a bitch and no one can get a word in edgewise.

I honestly don’t know which one I’d choose, but it would definitely have benton bacon.

But do not be afraid of this line.  It’s well worth the wait, and you will make friends.

The Mission Melt and the King Trumpet are in a battle for my very soul.

In the words of our favorite street chef, eating dessert first is a “palette killer”, so you now get a little ticket to pick up your dessert when you get your food.  Good call.  The brownie was ridiculously good.  That brie, dear god, who knew?  Less of a wait from order to pickup this time around, definitely optimizing the flow.

These guys were working their asses off:

I brought my own container, such was the quantity I bought: