In a pathetic attempt at disinformation, the cold-blooded hill people seek to imply La Lenguans wish to rejoin the oppressive Bernal regime. Nothing can be further from the truth.
In fact, La Lenguan agents have detected fractures in the Bernalian Hegemony. The LaLeReCaMi (La Lenguan Revolutionary Cartographic Ministry) has assembled this map of the impending breakup of Bernalwood.
The glorious breakaway of La Lengua was just the first step in the fracturing of Bernal microhood self-determination. A quick review of the chertish fault lines:
Holly Park and St. Mary’s Park have long questioned the need to follow the heavy hand of the Bernalwood Authority. St. Mary’s already have signs and a flag, so this was just a matter of time.
The Lost Tribe of College Hill still resents the lack of higher education services promised in its name. Bernal simply doesn’t deliver, and Portola Norte seeks to regain association to its brethren across the long lost Islais Creek.
Outer Cortlandia has long resented being looked down upon by the Cortlandia center of Bernal commerical power. Alemanistan shows its commercial independence with the farmers market and swap meet and night market.
(photo via TL)
The eastward facing Hill People of Powhattan have long felt a sense of alienation from the Cortlandian core, with little to no easy access to food or entertainment services, and spotty transportation options.
The radioactive chert of Bernalwood has increasingly led to cases of animal giganticism — a dramatic evolutionary leap in canine intelligence has inevitably followed. The dogs of Bernal have given notice and broken away, forming the Sutrito Canine Republic. Run free, Fido, run free.
Santana Rancho is the cultural heartland led by spiritual leader Carlos Santana, and protected by an amazonian league of black magic women, no less.
@karlthefog is the new cultural leader of the slopes of Foggy Vista. Yet these Sutro-facing denizens are battling their own micro-microhood secessions with Esmereldia and Eugeniaia corridors seeking to yearn free.
The case of Precitaville, base of Industrial Magnate Telstar Logistics, is a curious one. Nominally the progenitor of Bernalwood, this cartographic charlatan has in fact been planning a break from the Bernal Hegemony. However, the twisted history of Precita Creek is far too strong, and Precitaville is already facing the revolt of the valley of Serpentinia. Then there is the Principality of Chicken John, a cultural force whom few dare challenge.
So, Bernalian Pretenders, your day is done. Long live the independent peoples of Bernalwood!
@daudig @telstarlogistic came across a motherload of San Francisco photos from the 1930s-1940s, including this rather startling photo of a Nazi rally put on by the German consulate at City Hall in 1935:
Nazis. I hate these guys.
This was also the sentiment of the photographer, John Gutmann, a German Jew who emigrated to San Francisco as the Nazis came to power:
“In 1933, the Nazis forbade the Jewish Gutmann to teach or exhibit. Given the increasingly dangerous political climate, he realized that he would have to leave Germany. The editor of the magazine Die Neue Revue (whose mother was American) told him: “There is only one country, that is the United States, the only state is California, the only city, San Francisco.”
Mayor Angelo Rossi is on the left. The “Admiral” in the middle is in fact just a Captain with a really big hat – Captain Gunter Lütjens of the Karlsruhe to be precise. Guessing that the German (Nazi) Consul is on right?
(Lütjens would later be promoted to Admiral, and during WWII was a Kriegsmarine Fleet Commander. He would die aboard the Bismark in 1941. He was one of just three admirals to protest in writing against Kristallnacht in 1938. He was one-quarter Jewish, and it seems his wife was half-Jewish. At least for the first years of the Nazi regime, the German Admiralty fought to protect Jewish officers in the ranks.)
Gutmann’s photo archive at the University of Arizona’s Center for Creative Photography is rather amazing, and includes a frankly astounding number of photos of San Francisco from the 1930s to just before Gutmann’s passing in 1998. @bernalwood found this great picture of the old Soapbox Derby.
Somewhere in Potrero, but what street? I initially thought Arkansas, as I figured that might be the old Pac Bell tower lining up in the distance downtown. Lots of Google Streetviewage turned up no matches however. I called upon my super Twitter powers to force multiply an answer, and @donnyo came carolining to the rescue:
At the same moment @donnyo was sleuthing through newspaper archives, I took a different tack — I figured the giant conveyor belt would be easy to find on Sanborn maps. Sure enough, in the 1950 Sanborns, along Carolina, below 18th, what do we see?
Note also the soap powder ad on the right, which must have been for the Pioneer Soap Company.
As @donnyo notes, resurrecting the race today would be impossible as Carolina no longer exists between 18th & 19th.
The spirit of the soapbox derby lasted beyond the Potrero days — Outside Lands shows it was held in the Sunset in the 1950s:
and of course the secret underground Bernal soapbox derby:
Anyway, take a look at Gutmann’s archive of over 1000 San Francisco photos, and let me know what interesting things you see. Just a few that caught my eye:
An integrated school in 1934.
If it’s not already done, the history of blacks in Hunters Point (and San Francisco in general) is a book waiting to be written. These 1937 redlining maps are sobering.
UPDATE: David Gallagher notes:
old timers used to tell me they would do something like tie a string to a piece of wood, then lower the other end of the string into the slot twirling it until it caught the cable, then watch their personal “cable car” take off.
Celebrate Saturday, 2PM at El Rio, in the heart of La Lengua, until the cows come home!
Here’s to another 35 years! But long time readers will remember the way-back history of El Rio and the land underneath.
1858 – the red box is El Rio:
Jose & Carmen Bernal’s adobe was not far away from the back patio:
and they got this sweet seal:
Much, much, much more in this historiful post.
I was flattered to be asked by Allan at Mission Mission to co-host a talk show on BFF.fm, the Mission’s newest streaming radio station. But it worked out — two hours of me and Allan talking about maps, bikes, history, burritos on a stick, fog and telegraphs, IPA, books and music.
Anyway, I didn’t make a complete ass of myself and they invited me back next week, so tune into Burrito Justice Radio next Wednesday from 12-2pm. (Sorry for those of you who got a choppy feed today, but BFF just got a beefier server).
If you have ideas on what we should cover next week, lemme know in the comments.
Following up on the map published in the centerfold of the SFBG, an organization no less profound than CITY LIGHTS is helping us publish an even larger, grander version of the Bikes to Books map to help celebrate the 25th anniversary of the streets renamed after San Francisco authors and artists.
The bike tour, led by Nicole Gluckstern, gathers in South Park 10:30 and leaves Jack London Street at 11. I will be holding down the fort at City Lights, leading the readings that start at 2 at Jack Kerouac Alley. I’ll be the guy
dressed as reading an excerpt of Jack London.
Here’s a clip of the map — it’s basically what you’d expect from a a Burrito Justice post, but on paper (18×24) and double-sided.
While I don’t think we can crack open IPA in the alley, Vesuvio is right next door. In case you get confused, here is an explanatory diagram:
See you on Sunday!
Bikes to Books
October 6, 11 am bike tour, and 2 pm reading/anniversary party
City Lights books, Nicole Gluckstern, and Burrito Justice announce the publication release party for their collaborative bike map/tour: “Bikes to Books,” Sunday October 6 at City Lights Bookstore in San Francisco, celebrating with a bike tour and a reading in Jack Kerouac Alley.
Combining San Francisco history, art, literature, cycling, and urban exploration, “Bikes to Books” began as an homage to the 1988 street-naming project spearheaded by City Lights founder and former San Francisco Poet Laureate, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, in which twelve San Francisco streets were renamed for famous artists and authors who had once made San Francisco their home. Twenty-five years after the street-naming proposal was passed by the then the Board of Supervisors, local author and city cyclist Nicole Gluckstern devised a bike route connecting all twelve streets into a comprehensive bike tour, and enlisted avid amateur historian Burrito Justice for the creation of an interactive, multi-functional map, recently published in an abridged form in The San Francisco Bay Guardian. The two-sided, full color map published in collaboration with City Lights, is appropriate for use as a navigational tool, a history lesson, and a unique work of art in its own right.
Bike Tour details for October 6:
Meet on the North side of Jack London Street at South Park from 10:30 am.
Tour will commence at 11:00 am sharp.
Tour will end at approximately 2 pm outside City Lights Bookstore, at Jack Kerouac Alley in North Beach.
Cost = Free! (bring your own water/snacks)
Reading details for October 6:
Meet in Jack Kerouac Alley from 2-4 pm for a celebration of the 25th Anniversary of the Street-naming project and a release party for “Bikes to Books” map, sponsored by the City Lights Foundation.
Cost = Free!