Much is made of PBR as the ultimate hipster beer. But TK over at 40 Going on 28 presents us oldsters with a quandary. While we like our microbrews — Sierra Nevada and Anchor Steam — those calories do stack up. TK points to a treasure trove of beer calorie data and a quick glance is sobering shocking:
|Sierra Nevada Pale Ale||175|
However, alcohol content varies more than you would expect. I have taken the time to plot this very relationship.
We can obviously cast aside all the beers above the best fit line as they serve little purpose. There are a considerable number of outliers to consider. Olde English 800 (5.9%/160) and Rolling Rock (4.5%/120) are certainly contenders. But the “ice beers” seem to serve us well — Keystone Ice (5.9%/142 calories) is followed closely by Milwaukee’s Best Ice (5.9%/144) and may prove sufficiently ironic for the Mission.
But rather than eyeballing this, if we list the alcohol % per calorie ratio (bang for the buck) a surprising trend develops: the lite/light beers actually prove most potent.
And through scientific study I have determined that for a beer to be truly ironic it must break 3.5 — sorry PBR and Hamm’s, you just don’t cut it.
|Colt 45 Malt Liquor||3.51|
|Olde English 800||3.69|
|Milwaukee’s Best Ice||4.10|
|Anheuser Busch Natural Light||4.42|
|Milwaukee’s Best Light||4.59|
Behold Milwaukee’s Best Light (4.5%/98), the new ironic beer!
At 4.59, Milwaukee’s Best Light simply crushes the rest. PBR and Sierra Nevada fail by over 1.2 points! Sadly this finely crafted brew is not available at BevMo.